‘Marriage’ Category
so much to unpack…
we just got back from an AWESOME few days in Orlando for the Acts29 Members Conference. It was a great time to be with other church planters, but soooo encouraging to spend some time with other church planters wives. We are so blessed to be part of this amazing network! I have some awesome stuff I want to share, but not gonna lie…traveling for 3 days an sharing your room with a 4 month old makes for 1 tired mama! 
So, I will update later.
wrecked.
Y’all…I am reading this book and it is absolutely wrecking me, in a great, great way. It’s called “7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess” by Jen Hatmaker. If you are like me and really wrestling with living a life of excess, being focused on ridiculous things (or even not on ridiculous things!!), or just trying to figure out how to simplify your life, this is the book for you. I’m not going to go into the book a lot, but in short, it’s Jen talking about how she and her family identified 7 areas of excess in their lives, assigned a month to each of those areas and learned lessons from these experiments. I’m telling you…it will wreck you. Chris and I need to have some serious conversations and make some serious changes, and this book is just confirming it.
I feel like so often we get caught up in chasing the “dream”: having more money, having a big house, having the coolest “Pinteresty” decorations, cool clothes, purses…you name it, you know what I am talking about. I am not saying that wanting to have a successful career (heck, I absolutely LOVE what I do and absolutely want to be successful in it!) and some nice things is a bag thing, but they can absolutely own us and what we are living for. Jen quotes:
“What does it communicate when half the global population lives on less than $2 a day, and we can’t manage a fulfilling life on twenty-five thousand times that amount? Fifty thousand times that amount? It says we have too much, and it is ruining us.”
This quote hit me square in the chest. Recently I have been complaining about how we need more money, or we need this, or we need that, and I have really realized that we absolutely do not need any of these things, and what we really need is to be more faithful with what we have. One thing I am praying God helps me get a hold on is being faithful and generous with what I have, I don’t need any more, I want the Lord to be enough for me.
Honestly, I wish I could just type out all of the sections I have highlighted in this book to share it with you, but that would take me hours and hours, so all I can say is go get this book. I pray that I put my pride and selfishness to the side and really listen to the nudges the Lord is giving me in regards to excess in my life…how I long to be free of it!
More on this later…I’m stuck.
be present.
I have been following the story of a sweet, sweet family in Atlanta who lost their little baby right before Christmas to Trisomy 13. They found out Hallie had this chromosomal abnormality early in the pregnancy and carried her to term praying and hoping for just a few sweet moments with her. They were able to have 4.5 amazing days with her. I definitely recommend heading over to their blog and reading their story…you will be changed. I say all of that because this week I watched the video of sweet Hallie’s memorial service and something they said just struck a chord with me….be present.
Lately I have been reading several books that talk about excess, obsession, lack of focus, etc, etc, etc and I have been feeling the Lord is trying to tell me something that I really need to work on. I need to learn to be present. I feel like in the age of smart phones, iPads, computers, and all of this AMAZING technology, we have lost the ability to be present where we are. How many times have I been riding in the car with Chris and instead of talking to him I am checking Facebook or reading something pointless on line? (I will answer this question…99.9% of the time) Or how often am I sitting there holding Elliot and reading ridiculous posts on Babycenter instead of soaking in every sweet moment I have with her? I think I have just realized that I really need to discipline myself to be all in, and be present where I am, because I am really missing out on the richness of life. When I am with my family I need to be there…fully there. I never want Elliot to feel like I am always on my phone or always working, because she means SO much more to me than any of that stuff. I never want Chris to feel like I am not listening or invested in spending time with him, I want those moments together to be rich…not empty.
So my prayer and desire (and I know this is going to have to take a lot of discipline) is to be all in and present in whatever I am doing. Put the distractions aside and give my focus to the things that truly matter.
Do you feel like this is something you struggle with, or do you feel like you are able to maintain balance?
I mean seriously, what could compete with this?!
The honor is all mine…
I have to admit, when I was pregnant I was absolutely terrified of being a mom. When you are pregnant people have absolutely no boundaries (which drove me nuts…) and seem to tell you only the negative about being a parent. I got comments all the time telling me how I was never going to sleep well again, I was never going to get to do anything fun or on my own, the first year is soooo miserable, nursing is awful, blah blah blah. It really blew my mind that the majority of people would tell a pregnant woman how apparently horrible my life was going to be instead of just celebrating and being excited for me . Comments like those and just the general realization about what was about to happen made me very, very nervous for Elliot to be born. Almost daily I would ask Chris “what happens if I don’t love her?” or “what if I hate being a mom and just want my old life back?” I was genuinely concerned.
I have to say, I am so thankful that all of those people were wrong. I know I’m still new at this and we are only 8 weeks in, but these have been the most precious 8 weeks of my life. I never thought I would love being a mom as much as I do. I get excited when I hear her waking up from naps, love trying to get little smiles out of her, and it absolutely melts my heart when she is crying and I am the one who can comfort her. The hours and hours we have spent together nursing are so precious to me, and I am so thankful that nursing has been nothing but a great experience…even though there was definitely a biiiiiiig learning curve (and several toe curling moments!!!). Sitting in her room each night nursing her and praying over her is the best part of my day. The ability to speak those blessing over her sweet little life is such a treasure to me.
One of the songs I remember the week E was born (and it made me sob when I listened to it for the first time on our first day home…ha!) is Elliana’s Song by Christy Nockles. I sing it to Elliot all the time and just change it to her name! Well, one of the verses says:
There will be others, to lead and to guide you girl, but only one you’ll call mother. The honor is all mine, to show you what a woman’s like…I’m so glad your mine!
That is such a powerful and true statement! I am so, so glad she is mine, and it is such an honor that the Lord has given me to be her momma. I am so thankful that He chose me to raise this little girl and trusted me with her, I am just so glad to call her mine! I said to someone the other day that it’s so cool to finally understand the magnitude of my mom’s love for me…and I am still unable to comprehend the magnitude of God’s love, because I know the love I am feeling is only a fraction of what He feels for me. How amazing is that?
So, not real sure where I am going with this, but…if you are pregnant and are feeling the same way I was when I was pregnant, I want to encourage you – you are about to enter the best adventure of your life. Be excited. Be expectant. And be ready to be overwhelmed with a love you have never experienced before. And for everyone else, I hope you can understand how fully loved you are by the Creator of the Universe who perfectly crafted you.
it’s been awhile!
whelp, it’s been quite awhile since I posted! My blog was broken for several weeks which {partially} explains the lack of posting. The other lack of posting is due to the fact that I have a sweet, precious new baby!!
On September 20 we welcomed E into our family, and it has been such an amazing journey. She is such a sweet baby girl with such a sweet spirit…and she really loves sleeping {just like her mommy}, which makes things much, much easier around here. I took 6 weeks of maternity leave, but I stayed pretty plugged in at work while enjoying lots of snuggles with E and lots of fun lunches with my mom and sisters. I have been back to work for 2 weeks now and am so, SO thankful to be in a job where I get to stay home with my girl. I honestly don’t know if I could have left her 40 hours a week. The Lord has surely provided for our little family in giving me the opportunity to do what I do! I know it will get more challenging to work from home and be a momma full time, but we will figure it out as we go and make it work for us.
I don’t really have much to write at this moment, so I will just bless you with some precious pictures! :)
Just a few minutes after being born.
Uhhh…what just happened?
so teeny tiny…
1 month old…and clearly loving this photoshoot…
lapping up the bathwater…highlight of her day!
family trip to Corn Dawgs! (sadly, no corn dogs were consumed…and the pumpkins we got never got carved.)